Funny Kowts (Quotes)

Looking for funny kowts (quotes)? Search no more ‘coz you’re in the right place. Below is our collection of funny tagalog kowts (quotes) and text messages that you can copy and send to your friends via text/sms or paste in your facebook or twitter accounts.

Funny Kowts (Quotes) Collection

  • It was an ex-PBB housemate (1st batch) who said this: “Big Brother, ginagawa po nila ako laughing stuff…”
  • My friend and I were walking up the stairs of our schools new bldg. She said out of nowhere: “Imagine mo kung di ginawa ‘tong bldg, umaakyat tayo sa hangin?”
  • Nadia Montenegro promoting her movie: “Please watch ‘The Life Story of Julie Vega’, opening na po on the twenty-twoth of November.”
  • In a burger joint I heard a man say: “Miss, isa ngang ‘amusing’ aloha at saka ‘kidney’ meal.” Server: “Dine in po ba or to go?” The man answered: “Ayoko ng sago!”
  • I was making cookies at home when I ran out of cookie sheets, so I called our maid and said: “Manang bili ka nga ng cookie sheet.” And she replied: “Ano po, solo o litro?” (coke is it)

More Funny Tagalog Kowts (Quotes)

  • My friend said: “Ang galing ‘no, yung Ash Wednesday last year , Miyerkules din pumatak!”
  • A non-Christian vendor selling a Last Supper painting: “Ma’am bili po kayo ng frame, maganda po ito, ‘Hesus and Company.”
  • While watching “Apollo 13?, after she heard the line: ” Houston , we have a problem.” My ex-girlfriend asked: “Sino si Houston ?”
  • My aunt was going to the US for the 1st time. She told us: “Nagpapabili ang tita niyo ng ‘autistic’ guitar. Saan ba nakakabili nun?”
  • I once heard an emcee say: “Let’s give her a warm of applause!”
  • Barker ng bus: Ah Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao!!!” Pasahero: “Boss, Cubao?”
  • An officemate of ours told us a story about driving alone in her car: “Alam niyo, pag nag-iisa ako, feeling ko…wala akong kasama…”
  • I had a customer on the line who had a password on his account. I asked for the password but he forgot. I gave him a clue: “It’s a 4-digit number.” He answered, “Uhm…’ROCKY’ ?”
  • I overheard a lady place an order at Starbucks: “One cup of chino please.”
  • An officemate once asked: “Saan sa Quezon City ang Mandaluyong?”
  • I had a meeting with a friend and I noticed that both of us were wearing stripes. He suddenly blurted out: “Uy, stripes din! It’s the color of the day!”
  • When I saw that I got a missed call, I said, “Hey, I got a missed call!” My friend said, “Anong sabi?”
  • We were reviewing for an exam and we were already dead tired. A classmate said, “Hala, brownout!” Pagtingin namin, nakapikit pala siya.
  • A call center agent told a foreign customer regarding the changing of the due date of her credit card: “Ma’am, I already changed your monthly period.”
  • A home economics teacher asked us: “How do you make wet floor and tow duff?” Translation: “How do you make wheat flour and tough dough”.

  • During the flight to USA.
    Stewardess : Sir, chewing gum para hindi sumalit ang tenga nyo during the flight.
    ERAP : Thank you!After an hour.
    ERAP : Miss pano ba tatanggalin itong chewing gum sa tenga ko?
  • While watchng the news yesterday about a kid killed by a bulldozer, our maid commented:  “Kaya ayoko mag-alaga ng aso eh…”
  • My cousin at a DRIVE-THRU: “Miss, puwedeng take out?”
  • Also in a gameshow. Host: “Ano sa Tagalog ang ‘teeth’?” Contestant: “Utong!”
  • My sister said of our neighbor who was our arch enemy: “Mamatay na sana kapitbahay natin!” I told her not to say that, coz it might bounce back to us. Then she said, “Ah ganun ba yun? In that case, mamatay na sana tayo!”
  • From the gameshow “The Weakest Link”. Host Edu Manzano asked: “Anong ‘T’ ang ibinibigay ng konduktor pag nagbayad ka ng pamasahe sa bus?” Ian Veneracion answered: “TUKLI!”
  • Sa isang gameshow, tinanong ng host: “Anong ‘P’ ang Tagalog ng ‘storey’ o ‘floor’ ng building?” Contestan: “PIP PLOR!”

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  1. <<<<<<<>>>>>>> eh paano kung madalas kang magmahal eh di madalas kang masasaktan aray ko poh di ko na un kaya kaw kaya mo

  2. wOw!!kakaTawa naMan dI na aKo maKa2Log 2Loy!!jajajaja!!!add me plz sa fiendsTer ok….
    *edited* thanKs…
    naG enJoy akO graBe!!

  3. grabe sumakit ang throat ko dun…
    wala kasi akong humpay sa kakaubo
    habang tumatawa…
    “pero steady lang”
    “relax” i l0ve it…

  4. “b4 u find fault b sure u r dealing w/ facts not w/ figments of imagination.”

    masamang manlait,pro kung 22o, OK lang..^_^..gud nyt seniu!!

  5. hay nko!! d cila funny corny ehehe.. bt nice ehe.. ^^ uhmf.. add nio nga eadd ko JhAnE_o03 tnx.

  6. pag may nagyari sakin humanda kau….pinatawa nyo kasi ako ng sobre eh..yan tuloy nasamid ako at nabilaukan,,tapos sumakit pa tyan ko sa akaktawa..wahaahaha juzt kidding nice post…

  7. naluha aq sa kakatawa…hehehe…buti wlang nkakita sakin d2 office. mpgkakamalan p aqng baliw…hehehe

  8. heheheheheh………..sobrang saya tlaga magbasa ng quotes kakatwa hahahahah…. pero ung iba korni eh!!!!!!….??????

  9. ang ga2nda ng mga funny quotes xobrang nka2tawa cla … ung iba corney pro auz lng ga2da nla……..

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