Tagalog Filipino Green Jokes

Posted in Tagalog Jokes and Quotes, Tagalog Quotes and Text Messages
  • WOMAN to DOC: Thank you for making me a virgin again for my wedding night. It was perfect, the blood, the pain and it only cost 50pesos! How did you do it?
    DOC : I tied your PUBIC hair together!
  • KUMARE 1: Nag-away kami ng pare mo kasi gusto niya sa sex dog style
    KUMARE 2: What’s wrong with that?
    KUMARE 1: Eh gusto niya na naman sa DAAN din!
  • In a rape trial, the victim was asked by a lawyer: Did you scream for help?
    LADY : Yes sir.
    LAWYER: Did anyone came?
    LADY: Yes sir….he did… then I did
  • STUDENT : Mam, how can we get BETACAROTENE?
    TEACHER : Manood ka ng beta, kumain ka ng carrot, tapos humawak ng OTEN
  • sa math class:
    ryan:ARAY!!bakit ka ba naniniko??
    raul: ayaw mo magpakopya kasi..
    ryan:sumbong kita kay teacher,MAM SI RAUL PO NANINIKO!!!!
    TEACHER: RAUL “ALAM MO BANG MASAKIT ANG MANIKO”?
    raul:YEHEY!! WALANG PASOK NGAYON MASAKIT DAW MANI NI MAM!!!!
  • A doctor is in danger of losing his license to practice medicine. He was caught having sex with his patients. Its such a shame. Sayang talaga, he was a good veterinarian pa naman :)

 

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