Below is our collection of call centre jokes, call center humor and call center fun. Please share and enjoy!

Pinoy Call Center Jokes Collection

• Local client so mostly pinoy callers, usually from visayas…
  Cust: hiillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin???
  Call center Agent: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?
  Cust: Hende naman…
  Call center Agent: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
  Cust: Ang alen?
  Call center Agent: .Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?
  Cust: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
  Call center Agent: Di ba wala pong ring?
  Cust: Hende! yong BELL!.. yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!!
  Call center Agent: aahhh… yung BILL?!!!
  (hende kase nagve-verefie mabote… tsk, tsk, tsk…)
• Whattt!???
  - It’s a no-win-win situation.
  - Burn the bridge when you get there.
  - Anulled and void.
  - Mute and academic.
  - C’mon let’s join us!
  - If worse comes to shove.
  - Are you joking my leg?
  - It’s not my problem anymore, it’s your problem anymore.
  - What are friends are for?
  - You can never can tell.
  - Been there, been that.
  - Forget it about it.
  - Give him the benefit of the daw.
• CSR: “The computer has a hard disk, CD ROM drive and 4 USB sluts.”
  Customer: “Sluts? Are you sure (giggling) I’m going to get 4 sluts along with the computer?”
  CSR: “Yes, absolutely sir!”
  Customer: “Well, in that case, I’d like to order that computer then!”
• Its ‘C’, ‘C’ for Fried Chicken
• May I put you on hold for about 2 meters?
• Caller: “I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realized that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?”.
• Agent: Can you click in to the address bar and type www.google.com please?
  Customer: I’ve don’t this already and it didn’t work.
  Agent: Will you do it again for me anyway?
  Customer: Alright.
  Agent: W-W-W-DOT-G-O-O-G-L-E-DOT-C-O-M and now press “enter”.
  Customer: Oh, you have to press “enter”?
• Applicant: The call center is a booming industry for the past few days
  and I want to part of that boom! (sumabog ka sana!)
• Recruiter: Why do you want to work in a call center?
  Applicant: >From Manila Bulletin. (ang gulo… i drug test nyo na to’)
  Recruiter: Ah okay, but my question is, why do you want to work here?
  Applicant: Well, I graduated from CEU with a course of blahblah…
  (out…out…out….)
• Recruiter : Why do you want to work in a call center?
  Applicant : Because of the big bucks of money.. i want to hab a house
  (nyahaha)

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Funny Tagalog Jokes Collection

Wag kang malungkot o magdaramdam kapag ika’y nag iisa…sapagkat sa mata ng DULING….ika’y dalawa…tandaan mo, hanggat may DULING, di ka nag iisa!

• Sabi nila: kapag nadapa ka, bumangon ka!
  Sabi ko naman: Paano kung nadapa ka sa hubad na katawan ng taong kinababaliwan mo?…
  Sige nga, babangon ka pa ba??!
• Teacher: Ok class, Only Juan got 99/100…
  Juan: oha! Ano kau ngaun? Mamundok nlang kau! Magtanim nlng kau ng kamote mga bobo! Mga wlang pnag aralan,mga ubot ng tanga! bkt hnd p kau mgpkmatay?!
  Teacher: da rest got 100..basag!
• Kung nurse ka, paano mo sasabihin sa pasyente na mamamatay na sya?
  Pasyente: Mamamatay na ba ako?
  Nurse: Nanunuod ho ba kayo ng Marimar?
  Pasyente: Oo.
  Nurse: Hindi nyo na ho matatapos

Funny Tagalog Jokes

• Kapag may problem ka, lapitan mo lang ako, di kita iiwan.
  Yayakapin lang kita ng mahigpit, at itatanong ko lang sayo…“ano ba gusto mo?” … matador, Colt 45. emperador o red horse??
• I dreamed of you last night, naka upo ka sa tabi ng ilog, sad and alone and mukhang mabigat ang loob. Lalapitan sana kita at yayakapin, pero bigla ka tumayo, at nag punas ng pwet! hehe
• There was a turtle who fell in love with a cat..
  One day, the turtle visited the cat and said…”I love you with all my heart”
  The cat replied: “Kami na ni rabbit, ang bagal mo kasi!!
• Scenario : Nasusunog ang Malacanang
  Guard : Mr. President dito po ang daan sa fire exit
  Erap : Gago, diyan nga dadaan ang apoy eh!

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Pinoy Jokes Collection

• Ano english ng ‘Baka masuwerte ako’? … ‘Beef Lucky Me’
  Ano english ng ‘Masuwerte ako Inay’? … ‘Lucky me mami’
  Ano english ng ‘Masuwerte akong lalaki?…’Lucky me with egg’

• PASYENTE: Magkano mag pa face lift?
  DOCTOR: Yung complete treatment, PHP145,000.00
  PASYENTE: And mahal! ano ba pinakamura para mag mukha akong bata?
  DOCTOR: Eto Tsupon, 20.00 lang!

• Boy Abunda: Kung ihahalintulad mo ang iyong sarili sa isang kasangkapan sa bahay, ano ka?
  Mahal: Kachi chimple lang ako ticho boy…Chiguro chupa, mahilig chalaga ako cha chupa…ancharap kachi minchan machulog cha chupa…

• Juan to Poso Negro Services on the phone:
  Juan: Hello, Good Morning manong, humihigop po ba kayo ng poso negro?
  PNS: Yes sir, bakit po?
  Juan: Masarap??

More Pinoy Jokes

• Sabi nila, Love make your heart beat fast…
  Your Body feel flushed with excitement, and your mind go around in circles…
  Love kaya yon?!
  O gutom lang?!!

• During the cremation: All the relatives stood in silence. Everybody was silent till a child suddenly asked out of curiousity…’Ma, hindi pa ba luto?’

• Did you know that:
  - Cockroaches have fingers and nails?
  -rats are visual learners?
  -ball pens in the earlier times are used as needles in making umbrellas?
  -the saliva of an ostrich is used in making cheese?
  Galing no?
  lahat yan, imbento ko lang hahaha!

• Limit your sex life. Do it only on days that start with letter ‘T’
  Tuesday,Thursday, Today, Tonite, Tomorrow, Tatorday, Tanday, Taumaga, Tatanghali, tagabi, tahapon

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Tagalog Jokes

• Sa panahon ngayon bawal PUMIKIT… Pag ikaw pumikit JOWA mo may KABIT. =p
• Sa tuwing may tampuhan, madalas sabihin, ‘Sorry di ko sinasadya’….’Sensya na di na mauulit’…’Galit ka pa ba?’… di ba mas masarap pakinggan kung sasabihig ‘Eto P1000.00 bati na tayo ha?’
• Mahirap kapag walang nagmamahal…walang karamay sa problema…madalas walang kausap…malamig ang pasko pati na ang valentines…..Pero ang mas mahirap mag isa……’kapag naka sakay ka sa seesaw! di gagalaw! badtrip!
• Aaminin ko…sa lahat ng mga ka text ko…ikaw ang gusto ko..masaya kang ka text…IBANG IBA KA SA KANILA……kasi ….di ka nag rereply…
• DAD: anak bading ka ba?
  SON: aba dad alam nyo ba na takot sa akin ang mga classmates ko? Respetado ako sa school.
  DAD: talaga anak?
  SON: Oo dad! tawag nga nila sa akin… MAHAL NA REYNA!
• May 2 lalaking magkapatid.
  b1: Gising na dyan, kakain na tayo, pumili ka na don
  Bumangon si b1 at tiningnan kung ano ang ulam.
  B2: o isang tuyo lang yun, ano pagpipilian ko
  B1: ang sabi ko pumili ka kung kakain ka o hindi

More Pinoy Tagalog Jokes

• Mrs. Tanoy is a very kuripot housewife. When her husband died, she in inquired with the newspaper, asking the price for the obituary. The ad taker said: “300 pesos for 5 words.”
  She said: “Pwede ba 2 words lang? ‘Tanoy dead’ ”
  Ad taker: “No mam. 5 words is the minimum.”
  After thinking for a while, Mrs. Tanoy said: “Ok, para sulit, ilagay mo, “TANOY DEAD, TOYOTA FOR SALE “
• Bata: Pabili po ng ubas. Tindera: Wala kaming ubas.
  [Kinabukasan...]
  Bata: Pabili po ng ubas.
  Tindera: Wala nga kaming ubas. Isa pang tanong mo, iistapler ko na yang bibig mo!
  [Kinabukasan...]
  Bata: May istapler kayo?
  Tindera: Wala, bakit?
  Bata: Pabili ng ubas.. ^,^
• An Eat Bulaga contestant was asked by Joey and Vic: “Ano sa Tagalog ang grasshopper?” Contestant: “Ahmm. . .Huling Hapunan?”
• In Wowowee, the question was: “Kung ang ‘sigaw’ ay ‘shout’ sa Inggles, ano naman sa Tagalog ang ‘whisper’?” The contestant answered: “Napkin!”
• We were marketing for an org event, when one of my orgmates wanted to clear the definition of the types of sponsors (Major, Minor, Patron, etc.) So she asked her grandma: “Lola, anong mas mataas sa Patron?” Her lola replied: “Patron? Eh di Shell!”

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