Text Quotes and Text Messages 0501 – 0520: Funny Tagalog Quotes/Jokes

August 16, 2008 · Filed Under Jokes, Tagalog Text Jokes, funny text messages · 25 Comments 

I received these funny quotes/tagalog jokes through our group mailing list :)

0501. It was an ex-PBB housemate (1st batch) who said this: “Big Brother, ginagawa po nila ako laughing stuff…”

0502. My friend and I were walking up the stairs of our schools new bldg. She said out of nowhere: “Imagine mo kung di ginawa ‘tong bldg, umaakyat tayo sa hangin?”

0503. Nadia Montenegro promoting her movie: “Please watch ‘The Life Story of Julie Vega’, opening na po on the twenty-twoth of November.”

0504. In a burger joint I heard a man say: “Miss, isa ngang ‘amusing’ aloha at saka ‘kidney’ meal.” Server: “Dine in po ba or to go?” The man answered: “Ayoko ng sago!”

0505. I was making cookies at home when I ran out of cookie sheets, so I called our maid and said: “Manang bili ka nga ng cookie sheet.” And she replied: “Ano po, solo o litro?” (coke is it) Read more

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Text Quotes and Text Messages 0472 – 0485: Dirty Tagalog Text Jokes

August 6, 2008 · Filed Under Tagalog Text Jokes · 25 Comments 

These Tagalog Text Jokes were emailed to me by a friend. Wala yata magawa hehe

0472. Bakit natatakot bumaba ang mga babae sa jeep sa kanto ng TINIO st, sa San Pablo?
Answer: Kasi ang sigaw ng driver “O yun bababa, KANTO TINIO NA”!!!!!

0473. Bata : Tay paglaki ko gusto ko katulad mo.
Tatay: Ang bait ng anak ko, gusto rin maging doctor.
Bata : Hindi tay!! gusto ko rin tirahin si YAYA!!!

0474. DALAWANG LASING ANG SABAY UMIHI.

Lasing 1 : Pare, sobra ang tigas ng TITI ko, Uuwi na ako at yayariin ko muna si Misis.
Lasing 2 : Sasama ako sa iyo.
Lasing 1 : Baket?
Lasing 2 : E, sa akin ang yang hawak mong TITI eh !!!!
Read more

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Text Quotes and Text Messages 0451 – 0470: Tagalog Text Jokes

April 21, 2008 · Filed Under Tagalog Text Jokes · 17 Comments 

Joke Joke Joke time! More text Jokes

0451. Sa Math Class…
Teacher: Banong, kung meron akong 1 piraso ng karne at hinati ko ito, ilang
piraso na?
Banong: 2 po mam!
Teacher: At kung hnati ko pa pareho?
Banong: 4 na piraso po!
Teacher: Hinati ko ulit.
Banong: 8 piraso po.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa.
Banong: 16 po mam.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa?
Banong: 32 piraso na po!
Teacher: Kung hinati ko ulit?
Banong: 64 po! (nakangiti)
Teacher: At hinati ko pa? 2 beses ko pang hinati?
Banong: Ay susmaryosep mam! GINILING na po! GINILING!!!

Next Text Joke:

0452. SA BAKERY
Pulubi: Palimos po ng cake.
Ale: Aba, sosyal ka ah! Namalimos ka lang, gusto mo pang cake.. eto pandesal!
Pulubi: Duh! Ate?! Bday ko kaya today?!?
Read more

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Text Quotes and Text Messages 0401 – 0420: Tagalog Jokes

January 23, 2008 · Filed Under Tagalog Text Jokes · 54 Comments 

Some Funny tagalog text messages and jokes

0401. A doctor is in danger of losing his license to practice medicine. He was caught having sex with his patients. Its such a shame. Sayang talaga, he was a good veterinarian pa naman :)

0402. Ano english ng ‘Baka masuwerte ako’? … ‘Beef Lucky Me’
Ano english ng ‘Masuwerte ako Inay’? … ‘Lucky me mami’
Ano english ng ‘Masuwerte akong lalaki?…’Lucky me with egg’ :)

0403. During the cremation: All the relatives stood in silence. Everybody was silent till a child suddenly asked out of curiousity…’Ma, hindi pa ba luto?’

0404. Did you know that:
- Cockroaches have fingers and nails?
-rats are visual learners?
-ball pens in the earlier times are used as needles in making umbrellas?
-the saliva of an ostrich is used in making cheese?
Galing no?
lahat yan, imbento ko lang hahaha! :) Read more

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Text Quotes and Text Messages 0281 – 0300: Funny Tagalog Quotes and Erap Jokes

January 3, 2008 · Filed Under Tagalog Quotes · 56 Comments 

Make your friends smile by this huge collection of Tagalog Funny Quotes and text messages :)

0281. Wag kang malungkot o magdaramdam kapag ika’y nag iisa…sapagkat sa mata ng DULING….ika’y dalawa…tandaan mo, hanggat may DULING, di ka nag iisa!

0282. Sabi nila: kapag nadapa ka, bumangon ka!
Sabi ko naman: Paano kung nadapa ka sa hubad na katawan ng taong kinababaliwan mo?…
Sige nga, babangon ka pa ba??!

0283. Kung nurse ka, paano mo sasabihin sa pasyente na mamamatay na sya?
Pasyente: Mamamatay na ba ako?
Nurse: Nanunuod ho ba kayo ng Marimar?
Pasyente: Oo.
Nurse: Hindi nyo na ho matatapos

0284. ‘pag may problem ka, lapitan mo lang ako, di kita iiwan.
Yayakapin lang kita ng mahigpit, at itatanong ko lang sayo…“ano ba gusto mo?” … matador, Colt 45. emperador o red horse??

0285. Seswertehin ka sa pag-ibig ngayong taon…kung magiging akin ka!!! yun yun eh Read more

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Text Quotes and Text Messages 0251 – 0260: Tagalog Text Jokes

December 27, 2007 · Filed Under Tagalog Quotes · 9 Comments 

0251. Minsan mas masarap masaktan, umasa, lokohin, mapag laruan at gawing tanga, kasi mas natututo tayo, mas tumitibay. Pero ang totoo mas masarap masaktan dahil masarap mag inuman! ehehehe!

0252. wife: Hon sino si Trixie?
Husband: ah kabayo yun, yung pinustahan ko sa karera
wife: ah ganun? sige sagutin mo ang telepono, tumatawag yung kabayo :)

0253. Friend kita kaya ayokong nakikitang nasasaktan ka… kaya pag nakita kong may lamok sa iyong mukha, ……tatagain ko :)

0254. I send you this fish ><(((,”> as a sign of our friendship, alagaan mo sya  sa cel mo ha? once a week, ilublob mo sa tubig celphone mo para di sya mamatay! hehehe

0255. More tagalog JOkes and text messages soon

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