Below is our collection of call centre jokes, call center humor and call center fun. Please share and enjoy!

Pinoy Call Center Jokes Collection

• Local client so mostly pinoy callers, usually from visayas…
  Cust: hiillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin???
  Call center Agent: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?
  Cust: Hende naman…
  Call center Agent: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
  Cust: Ang alen?
  Call center Agent: .Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?
  Cust: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
  Call center Agent: Di ba wala pong ring?
  Cust: Hende! yong BELL!.. yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!!
  Call center Agent: aahhh… yung BILL?!!!
  (hende kase nagve-verefie mabote… tsk, tsk, tsk…)
• Whattt!???
  - It’s a no-win-win situation.
  - Burn the bridge when you get there.
  - Anulled and void.
  - Mute and academic.
  - C’mon let’s join us!
  - If worse comes to shove.
  - Are you joking my leg?
  - It’s not my problem anymore, it’s your problem anymore.
  - What are friends are for?
  - You can never can tell.
  - Been there, been that.
  - Forget it about it.
  - Give him the benefit of the daw.
• CSR: “The computer has a hard disk, CD ROM drive and 4 USB sluts.”
  Customer: “Sluts? Are you sure (giggling) I’m going to get 4 sluts along with the computer?”
  CSR: “Yes, absolutely sir!”
  Customer: “Well, in that case, I’d like to order that computer then!”
• Its ‘C’, ‘C’ for Fried Chicken
• May I put you on hold for about 2 meters?
• Caller: “I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realized that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?”.
• Agent: Can you click in to the address bar and type www.google.com please?
  Customer: I’ve don’t this already and it didn’t work.
  Agent: Will you do it again for me anyway?
  Customer: Alright.
  Agent: W-W-W-DOT-G-O-O-G-L-E-DOT-C-O-M and now press “enter”.
  Customer: Oh, you have to press “enter”?
• Applicant: The call center is a booming industry for the past few days
  and I want to part of that boom! (sumabog ka sana!)
• Recruiter: Why do you want to work in a call center?
  Applicant: >From Manila Bulletin. (ang gulo… i drug test nyo na to’)
  Recruiter: Ah okay, but my question is, why do you want to work here?
  Applicant: Well, I graduated from CEU with a course of blahblah…
  (out…out…out….)
• Recruiter : Why do you want to work in a call center?
  Applicant : Because of the big bucks of money.. i want to hab a house
  (nyahaha)

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• Minsan mas masarap masaktan, umasa, lokohin, mapag laruan at gawing tanga, kasi mas natututo tayo, mas tumitibay. Pero ang totoo mas masarap masaktan dahil masarap mag inuman! ehehehe!

• Boy:tandaan mu lhat ng sa2bihin ko dhil imp0rtante ito?
  Girl: ok anu ba sasabhin mu??
  Boy:ahmmm’,’ mahal na mahal kita lagi m0ng tandaan na andito lng aq, lagi sa tabi mu…!!
  Boy: anu natandaan mu bA?? Girl: (kinilig) ah oo naman,
  Boy: good pakisabi yan sa bestfriend mu, ahH. Tnx!!
• Sa isang Museum..
  Juan: Ito bang pangit na ‘to ang tinatawag nyo na “ART”?! Ang pangit, nakakasuka! Painting ba to?
  Guide: Hindi po sir, salamin yan! Hahaha!
• MRS : Bakit ngayon ka lang?
  MR : Pasensha na, nagyaya mga officemates ko, nagkainuman lang. Hehe! Hik,
  MRS: Lasing ka no?
  MR: Ako, lashing? Hindi! Hik
  MRS: Anong hindi?! La ka namang trabaho, pano ka nagka-officemates?
• May contest (standing ovation contest)
  Mga contestants: Filipino,Amerikano at Koreano.koreano: kumanta ng nobody..
  50% tumayo
  amerikano: kumanta ng single ladies…
  60% tumayo
  filipino: (kinakabahan,nataranta, ndi alam kung anong kakantahin) napakanta ng lupang hinirang..lahat tumayo…

  panalo: filipino!

  • Ang Alamat ng WAKA-WAKA.Noong unang panahon,sina Pedro at Juan ay gumagawa ng homework sa Geography. Nainis si Pedro kasi hindi makita ni Juan ang Africa sa mapa.P: (kinukuha ang mapa) Amin na, mina.
    J: Eh eh, wag ka wag ka, eh eh.
    P: Amin na, mina.Sa kalewa.
    J: Alam na, Ah ah.
    P: Amin na, mina.
    J: Eh eh. Wag ka, wag ka. Eh eh.
    P: Amin na, mina, sa kalewa. coz this is africa.haha:D
    pustahan kumakanta yan.
  • boy: kpg tinanong ba kta eh ssgutin mo ako?girl: onman, un na nga lng hnhntay ko e. (kinilig)boy: ok cge, the summation of 12x raised to the 3rd power ovr 83x+32xy+9y-a multplied by the summation of 5x – 2a wherein a is considrd as constnt?girl: P—– I– M0!
  • Student : Bayad poDriver: Saan po galing ito?Student: sa bulsa ko po.Driver: Ibig ko sabihin, saan k sumakay?

    Student: Sa Jeep nyo po.

    Driver : (Napaka pilosopo neto ah. kulangan ko nga ang sukli–sa isip lang.)

    Student: Mamang Driver, bakit po kulang sukli ko? Magkano po ba ang Gensan?

    Driver: Ah? Bakit bilihin mo?

    LOL

  • Vice:Pepsi nga po.
    Tindera:Iplastic ba?
    Vice:Try mo isako tas lagyan mo ng straw. pwd? Kung ayaw mo, sa karton.
    (Pinlastik ng tindera ung pepsi)
    Tindera:ang bayad mo? Mgba2yad kba?
    Vice:Hnd, mgsusukli. Aq ung tindera kya aq mgsusukli, malamang dba mgba2yad aq kc aq bumili?!
    Tindera:Hnd, ung kalabaw, ung kalabaw ung bumili. Malamang ikaw!
    Vice:Gaya-gaya ka.
    Tindera:Aq?
    Vice:Hnd, ung pepsi.
  • Pedro: Anong ulam ninyo?
    Juan: Blanched green leafy veggie with crushed sweet tomato in sparkling salted sea food.
    Pedro: Wow! Ang sarap naman nun. Ano yun?
    Juan: Talbos ng kamote at bagoong na may pinisang kamatis. Kayo, anong ulam ninyo?
    Pedro: Fish fillet de el nenyo.
    Juan: Wow sosyal! Ano ‘yun?
    Pedro: Tuyo!
  • APO:Lolo, magpaturo po sana ako ng assignment.
    LOLO: Anong subject yan mahal kong apo?
    APO: Tungkol po sa Math.
    LOLO:Alam mo diyan tayo magaling.
    APO:Talaga po lo?
    LOLO:Ba oo.Ano nga ba ang assignment na yan?
    APO: Ito pong FIND THE LCD.
    LOLO:(Nabigla ang lolo)Ano? FIND THE LCD? Naku apo ko, panahon namin hinahanap na yan hanggang ngayon ba hindi pa nahanap?

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    Tagalog Jokes

    • Sa panahon ngayon bawal PUMIKIT… Pag ikaw pumikit JOWA mo may KABIT. =p
    • Sa tuwing may tampuhan, madalas sabihin, ‘Sorry di ko sinasadya’….’Sensya na di na mauulit’…’Galit ka pa ba?’… di ba mas masarap pakinggan kung sasabihig ‘Eto P1000.00 bati na tayo ha?’
    • Mahirap kapag walang nagmamahal…walang karamay sa problema…madalas walang kausap…malamig ang pasko pati na ang valentines…..Pero ang mas mahirap mag isa……’kapag naka sakay ka sa seesaw! di gagalaw! badtrip!
    • Aaminin ko…sa lahat ng mga ka text ko…ikaw ang gusto ko..masaya kang ka text…IBANG IBA KA SA KANILA……kasi ….di ka nag rereply…
    • DAD: anak bading ka ba?
      SON: aba dad alam nyo ba na takot sa akin ang mga classmates ko? Respetado ako sa school.
      DAD: talaga anak?
      SON: Oo dad! tawag nga nila sa akin… MAHAL NA REYNA!
    • May 2 lalaking magkapatid.
      b1: Gising na dyan, kakain na tayo, pumili ka na don
      Bumangon si b1 at tiningnan kung ano ang ulam.
      B2: o isang tuyo lang yun, ano pagpipilian ko
      B1: ang sabi ko pumili ka kung kakain ka o hindi

    More Pinoy Tagalog Jokes

    • Mrs. Tanoy is a very kuripot housewife. When her husband died, she in inquired with the newspaper, asking the price for the obituary. The ad taker said: “300 pesos for 5 words.”
      She said: “Pwede ba 2 words lang? ‘Tanoy dead’ ”
      Ad taker: “No mam. 5 words is the minimum.”
      After thinking for a while, Mrs. Tanoy said: “Ok, para sulit, ilagay mo, “TANOY DEAD, TOYOTA FOR SALE “
    • Bata: Pabili po ng ubas. Tindera: Wala kaming ubas.
      [Kinabukasan...]
      Bata: Pabili po ng ubas.
      Tindera: Wala nga kaming ubas. Isa pang tanong mo, iistapler ko na yang bibig mo!
      [Kinabukasan...]
      Bata: May istapler kayo?
      Tindera: Wala, bakit?
      Bata: Pabili ng ubas.. ^,^
    • An Eat Bulaga contestant was asked by Joey and Vic: “Ano sa Tagalog ang grasshopper?” Contestant: “Ahmm. . .Huling Hapunan?”
    • In Wowowee, the question was: “Kung ang ‘sigaw’ ay ‘shout’ sa Inggles, ano naman sa Tagalog ang ‘whisper’?” The contestant answered: “Napkin!”
    • We were marketing for an org event, when one of my orgmates wanted to clear the definition of the types of sponsors (Major, Minor, Patron, etc.) So she asked her grandma: “Lola, anong mas mataas sa Patron?” Her lola replied: “Patron? Eh di Shell!”

    
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