An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the Problem Science has

with GOD, the ALMIGHTY. He asked one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . .

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor : So, you Believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD Good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor : Is GOD ALL – POWERFUL ?

Student : Yes.

Professor : My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him.

Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill.

But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent )

Professor : You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, Young Fella.

Is GOD Good?

Student : Yes.

Professor : Is Satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor : Where does Satan come from ?

Student : From . . . GOD . .. .

Professor : That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?

Student : Yes.

Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor : So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer)

Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?

All these terrible things exist in the World, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor : So, who Created them ?

(Student had no answer)

Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you..

Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor : Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD?

Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor : Yet you still Believe in HIM?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol,

Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.

Professor : Yes,Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?

Professor : Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?

Professor : Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events )

Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat,

a Little Heat or No Heat.

But we don’t have anything called Cold.

We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can’t go any further after that.

There is no such thing as Cold.

Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat.

We cannot Measure Cold.

Heat is Energy.

Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

(There was Pin-Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?

Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn’t Darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir.

Darkness is the Absence of Something

You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . .

But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its called Darkness, isn’t it?

In reality, Darkness isn’t.

If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor : So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is flawed.

Professor : Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality.

You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD.

You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure.

Sir, Science can’t even explain a Thought.

It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.

To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that

Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing.

Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it.

Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?

Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument was going )

Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and

Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor,

Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir?

Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

(The Class was in Uproar )

Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor’s Brain?

(The Class broke out into Laughter )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . .

No one appears to have done so.

So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol,

Science says that You have No Brain, sir.

With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?

(The Room was Silent. The Professor stared at the Student, his face unfathomable)

Professor : I guess you’ll have to take them on Faith, son.

Student : That is it sir . . . Exactly !

The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.

That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.

NB:

That student was Albert Einstein.

Concentrate on this sentence

‘To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did’ When God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence….. ‘The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.’ Something good will happen to you today. Something that you have been waiting to hear. This is not a joke; someone will call you by phone or will speak to you about something that you were waiting to hear. Do not break! Send it to a minimum o f 7 people……… JUST DO IT!

0587. A GUD PIECE OF HUMOUR
A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily in Toronto . The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs.. She didn’t know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn’t know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store…
..
..
..
..
..
..
What were you thinking?

Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English!

What u smiling for – get back to work….

0588. A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?”

“What dear?” She asked gently.
..
..
..
..
I think you bring me bad luck.

0589. ( FUNNY JOKE ) Does Management know their Staff ?

On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the

Company noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.

He approached the young man and calmly said to him, “How much do you earn?”

The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such

A personal question, he replied, none the less, “I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?”

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed

$6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, “Around here

I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty!

Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don’t come back”.

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.

Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner,

“And that applies to everybody in this company”.

He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, “Who’s the young man I just fired?”

To which an amazing reply came – “He was the pizza delivery guy , Sir!”

0590. male and female

Many times, people say that the women species talk too much…
But there’s no problem because the male ear is SELECTIVE
Example…
When the women say:
“This House is a mess, Honey
You and I need to clean this
Your stuff is all on the floor
you will be without clothes
if you don’t wash them now!!!”
..
..
..
..
The male ear only understands:
bla, bla, bla, bla, Honey
bla, bla, bla, bla, You and I
bla, bla, bla, bla, on the floor
bla, bla, bla, bla, without clothes
bla, bla, bla, bla, now!!!

This is too funny – I still have tears in my eyes! Finally, a chain letter that I don’t mind forwarding.
It’s funny (don’t break chain)

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done..

The monsignor replied, ‘When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.’

So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice.At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1) Sip the vodka, don’t gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spooky.

David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.

10)We do Not refer to the cross as the ‘Big T.’

11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, ‘take this and eat it for it is my body.’ He did not say ‘ Eat me’

12)The Virgin Mary is not called ‘Mary with the Cherry’..

13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.

14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St.Peter’s not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.

The Origination of this letter is unknown, but it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on. The one who breaks the chain will have bad luck.

Do not keep this letter. Do not send money just forward it to five of your friends to whom you wish good luck and a great laugh.

You will see that something good happens to you four days from now if the chain is not broken.

How to Stay Married

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They
had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had
kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a
shoebox in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband
never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but
one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she
would not recover.  In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man
took down the shoebox and took it to his wife’s bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the
box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of
money totaling $25,000.  He asked her about the contents. “When we
were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a
happy marriage was to never argue.  She told me that if I ever got angry
with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.”

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears.
Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with
him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst
with happiness.  “Honey,” he said, “that explains the dolls, but what
about all of this money? Where did it come from?”

“Oh,” she said, “that’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”

I really can’t help but to shed a tear… later, when I arrive home, I’m really going to embrace my mom!

Please read and send to your friends

This is entitled … I love you Mom

My mom only had one eye. I hated her… She was such an embarrassment.
She cooked for students & teachers to support the family.

There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to
Say hello to me.

I was so embarrassed.

How could she do this to me?
I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.
The next day at school one of my classmates said, ‘EEEE, your mom only
Has one eye!’

I wanted to bury myself.
I also wanted my mom to just disappear.
I confronted her that day and said, ‘ If you’re only goanna make me a
Laughing stock, why don’t you just die?’

My mom did not respond…
I didn’t even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because
I was full of anger.
I was oblivious to her feelings.

I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her.
So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.
Then, I got married.
I bought a house of my own.
I had kids of my own.
I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts, Then one day, my
Mother came to visit me.
She hadn’t seen me in years and she didn’t even meet her
Grandchildren.

When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at
Her for coming over uninvited.
I screamed at her, ‘How dare you come to my house and scare my
Children!’
GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!’

And to this, my mother quietly answered, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have
Gotten the wrong address,’
And she disappeared out of sight.
One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house.

So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip.
After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.

My neighbors said that she died.
I did not shed a single tear.
They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

‘My dearest son,
I think of you all the time. I’m sorry that I came to your house and
Scared your children.
I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion.
But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you.
I’m sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were
Growing up.

You see……..when you were very little, you got into an accident, and
Lost your eye.
As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you
Having to grow up with one eye.
So I gave you mine.
I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my
Place, with that eye.

With all my love to you,
Your mother.

Send this to at least 10 people in the next 5 minutes to show you love your mother.
If you don’t then it shows you have no heart

Always tell someone that you love them because you never know what day
Will be their last, or your own.

Always seek to resolve your problems or disagreements with loved ones
Because if either of you should pass on before, the one who is left alive will have the rest of their life to ponder those unresolved feelings but will never find closure. And closure usually brings
Peace…

The Duck & the Devil (Chain E-mail)

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm.
He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.
He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the target.
Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner.
As he was walking back he saw Grandma’s pet duck.
Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square inthe head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved!

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile; only to see his
sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.
After lunch the next day Grandma said, ‘Sally, let’s wash the dishes’
But Sally said, ‘Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.’
Then she whispered to him, ‘Remember the duck?’
So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing andGrandma said, ‘I’m sorry but I need Sally to help make supper.’
Sally just smiled and said, ‘Well that’s all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help’
She whispered again, ‘Remember the duck?’ So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.
After several day of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally’s; he
finally couldn’t stand it any longer.
He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.
Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, ‘Sweetheart, I know. Yousee, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you.’

Thought for the day and every day thereafter?

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done… And the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) …whatever it is…You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing.

He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He’s just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.

The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness;
He not only forgives you, but He forgets.
It is by God’s grace and mercy that we are saved.
Go ahead and make the difference in someone’s life today.
Share this with a friend and always remember:
God is at the window!
When Jesus died on the cross; he was thinking of you!

More Chain Letters you can send to your friends

A married couple in their early 60s was  celebrating  their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic Married  couple  little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared  on their table.

She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married  couple and for being loving to each other for all this
time, I will  grant you each a wish.’

The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around  the world with my darling husband.’

The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two  tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: ‘Well, this is  all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will
never come again.

I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife  30 years younger than me.’

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed,  but a wish is a wish.

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!..the husband  became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful  bastards should remember  fairies are female…..

SEND THIS TO A WOMAN WHO NEEDS A  GOOD LAUGH …. AND TO ANY MAN WHO CAN HANDLE IT!

More Chain letters and E-mail to follow

—————-

0471. It’s been said that God first separated the salt water from the fresh, made dry land, planted a garden, made animals and fish… All before making a human. He made and provided what we’d need before we were born. These are best & more powerful when eaten raw.  We’re such slow learners…

God left us a great clue as to what foods help what part of our body!

God’s Pharmacy! Amazing!   A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye… And YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.

A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All of the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopene and are indeed pure heart and blood food.

Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.

A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums.  Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.

Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.

Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don’t have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

Avocados, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female – they look just like these organs. Today’s research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this?  It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).

Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.

Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics

Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries

Oranges,Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.

Onions look like the body’s cells. Today’s research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

SUBJECT: Psalm 46:19 ‘Be Still and Know that I AM GOD’

Please don’t break this even if you only send it to one person. Look at the date when this was started. Thanks NOTICE AT THE END, THE DATE THE CANDLE WAS STARTED. GONNA GIVE YOU GOOSE BUMPS. I am not going to be the one who Lets it die. I found it believable —Angels have walked beside me All my life–and they still do.********************* This is to all of you who Mean something to me, I pray for your happiness. The Candle Of Love, Hope & Friendship This candle was lit on the 15th of September, 1998.Someone who loves you has helped Keep it alive by sending it to you. Don’t let The Candle of Love, Hope And Friendship die! Pass It On To All Of Your Friends and Everyone You Love! May God richly bless you as you keep this candle burning.

More Chain Letters to come, you cana even mail them through your emails