Text Quotes and Text Messages 0587-0590: Funny Stories

Filed Under Chain Letters and Messages, Funny Text Messages 

This was sent to me by my office mate during our sleepy idle time lol

0587. A GUD PIECE OF HUMOUR
A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily in Toronto . The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs.. She didn’t know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn’t know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store…
..
..
..
..
..
..
What were you thinking?

Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English!

What u smiling for – get back to work….

0588. A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?”

“What dear?” She asked gently.
..
..
..
..
I think you bring me bad luck.

0589. ( FUNNY JOKE ) Does Management know their Staff ?

On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the

Company noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.

He approached the young man and calmly said to him, “How much do you earn?”

The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such

A personal question, he replied, none the less, “I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?”

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed

$6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, “Around here

I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty!

Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don’t come back”.

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.

Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner,

“And that applies to everybody in this company”.

He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, “Who’s the young man I just fired?”

To which an amazing reply came – “He was the pizza delivery guy , Sir!”

0590. male and female

Many times, people say that the women species talk too much…
But there’s no problem because the male ear is SELECTIVE
Example…
When the women say:
“This House is a mess, Honey
You and I need to clean this
Your stuff is all on the floor
you will be without clothes
if you don’t wash them now!!!”
..
..
..
..
The male ear only understands:
bla, bla, bla, bla, Honey
bla, bla, bla, bla, You and I
bla, bla, bla, bla, on the floor
bla, bla, bla, bla, without clothes
bla, bla, bla, bla, now!!!

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google Bookmarks

Tags: ,

Disclaimer: All Quotations, Jokes and Messages contained here are either received through SMS, E-mail or contributed through comments, and remain the intellectual property of their respective originators

Related Quotes and Text Messages:

Comments

4 Responses to “Text Quotes and Text Messages 0587-0590: Funny Stories”

  1. carol on September 19th, 2009 4:59 am

    hahahhhah ok on the floor nowwwwwwwwwwww

  2. lyn on October 6th, 2009 4:29 am

    very funny honey!!

  3. khylier on December 21st, 2009 2:15 am

    nice!!!!!!
    hehehehe

  4. yanZtic.. on January 25th, 2010 1:05 am

    nice..hehehe

Leave a Reply

BE A PREPAID LOAD RETAILER FOR JUST PhP300.00! Please visit www.eloadshop.com for more details