Text Quotes and Text Messages 0472 - 0485: Dirty Tagalog Text Jokes

August 6, 2008 · Filed Under Tagalog Text Jokes 

These Tagalog Text Jokes were emailed to me by a friend. Wala yata magawa hehe

0472. Bakit natatakot bumaba ang mga babae sa jeep sa kanto ng TINIO st, sa San Pablo?
Answer: Kasi ang sigaw ng driver “O yun bababa, KANTO TINIO NA”!!!!!

0473. Bata : Tay paglaki ko gusto ko katulad mo.
Tatay: Ang bait ng anak ko, gusto rin maging doctor.
Bata : Hindi tay!! gusto ko rin tirahin si YAYA!!!

0474. DALAWANG LASING ANG SABAY UMIHI.

Lasing 1 : Pare, sobra ang tigas ng TITI ko, Uuwi na ako at yayariin ko muna si Misis.
Lasing 2 : Sasama ako sa iyo.
Lasing 1 : Baket?
Lasing 2 : E, sa akin ang yang hawak mong TITI eh !!!!
More Tagalog Text Jokes….
0475. After having sex, panay pa rin hawak ng girl sa organ ng lalaki..
BOY: Gusto mo pa ulit ?
GIRL: Hinde… Namimiss ko lang.. Meron kasi ako nito dati ehh…

0476. INA: Hindi ba bilin ko sayo, kapag hinipuan ka ng bf mo sa dede say DONT! Kapag sa pepe say STOP! Bakit nabuntis ka ?
ANAK: Sabay po kasi hinipo eh,. kaya sabi ko DONT STOP !

0477. Nakakasalat
Sakristan: Father, may libangan din ba ang mga Pari?
Pari: Oo, naman, pag dating ng hapon, kaming mga pari dito sa bayan ay naglalaro ng Mahjong.
Sakristan: Bakit po naman Mahjong pa ang napili niyong laro?
Pari: Kasi, dito lang kami nakakasalat ng flower, Iho!

0478. Boy Libog sees his mon licking his father’s balls
BOY LIBOG : Ano gawa mo mommy?
MOM : Kain lang mommy ng bola bola
BOY LIBOG : Takaw naman ni mommy. may bola bola na may lumpia pa!!!

0479. Boy LIbog sees his wife giving birth to their child.
WIFE: Hoy, tulungan mo ako dito!
Boy Libog came ang struck his penis inside his wife.
BOY LIBOG: Anak, KAPIT !!!

0480. WOMAN to DOC: Thank you for making me a virgin again for my wedding night. It was perfect, the blood, the pain ang it only cost 50pesos! How did you do it?
DOC : I tied your PUBIC hair together!

0481. KUMARE 1: Nag-away kami ng pare mo kasi gusto niya sa sex dog style
KUMARE 2: What’s wrong with that?
KUMARE 1: Eh gusto niya na naman sa DAAN din!

0482. In a rape trial, the vixtim was asked by a lawyer: Did you scream for help?
LADY : Yes sir.
LAWYER: Did anyone came?
LADY: Yes sir….he did… then I did

0483. STUDENT : Mam, how can we get BETACAROTENE?
TEACHER : Manood ka ng beta, kumain ka ng carrot, tapos humawak ng OTEN

0484. sa math class:
ryan:ARAY!!bakit ka ba naniniko??
raul: ayaw mo magpakopya kasi..
ryan:sumbong kita kay teacher,MAM SI RAUL PO NANINIKO!!!!
TEACHER: RAUL “ALAM MO BANG MASAKIT ANG MANIKO”?
raul:YEHEY!!WALANG PASOK NGAYON MASAKIT DAW MANI NI MAM!!!!

0485. WOMAN to DOC: Thank you for making me a virgin again for my wedding night. It was perfect, the blood, the pain ang it only cost 50pesos! How did you do it?
DOC : I tied your PUBIC hair together!

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Disclaimer: All Quotations, Jokes and Messages contained here are either received through SMS, E-mail or contributed through comments, and remain the intellectual property of their respective originators

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    • Comments

    One Response to “Text Quotes and Text Messages 0472 - 0485: Dirty Tagalog Text Jokes”

    1. KHAWENG on November 3rd, 2008 11:45 am

      ANG SAYA NAMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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