Text Quotes and Text Messages 0401 – 0420: Tagalog Jokes

Filed Under Tagalog Text Jokes 

Some Funny tagalog text messages and jokes

0401. A doctor is in danger of losing his license to practice medicine. He was caught having sex with his patients. Its such a shame. Sayang talaga, he was a good veterinarian pa naman :)

0402. Ano english ng ‘Baka masuwerte ako’? … ‘Beef Lucky Me’
Ano english ng ‘Masuwerte ako Inay’? … ‘Lucky me mami’
Ano english ng ‘Masuwerte akong lalaki?…’Lucky me with egg’ :)

0403. During the cremation: All the relatives stood in silence. Everybody was silent till a child suddenly asked out of curiousity…’Ma, hindi pa ba luto?’

0404. Did you know that:
- Cockroaches have fingers and nails?
-rats are visual learners?
-ball pens in the earlier times are used as needles in making umbrellas?
-the saliva of an ostrich is used in making cheese?
Galing no?
lahat yan, imbento ko lang hahaha! :)

0405. PASYENTE: Magkano mag pa face lift?
DOCTOR: Yung complete treatment, PHP145,000.00
PASYENTE: And mahal! ano ba pinakamura para mag mukha akong bata?
DOCTOR: Eto Tsupon, 20.00 lang!
Here are some Tagalog Funny Jokes and Text messages that you can send to your friends

0406. Limit your sex life. Do it only on days that start with letter ‘T’
Tuesday,Thursday, Today, Tonite, Tomorrow, Tatorday, Tanday, Taumaga, Tatanghali, tagabi, tahapon :)

0407. Boy Abunda: Kung ihahalintulad mo ang iyong sarili sa isang kasangkapan sa bahay, ano ka?
Mahal: Kachi chimple lang ako ticho boy…Chiguro chupa, mahilig chalaga ako cha chupa…ancharap kachi minchan machulog cha chupa… :)

0408. Juan to Poso Negro Services on the phone:
Juan: Hello, Good Morning manong, humihigop po ba kayo ng poso negro?
PNS: Yes sir, bakit po?
Juan: Masarap?? :)

0409. PANGIT MO!
P-erfect
A-ttractive
N-ice
G-orgeos
I-ntelligent
T-ulad ko!
NAKS!.. Ngiti sya. Kala mo kung ano na no? i-Forward mo rin sa ibang PANGIT! :)

0410. Sabi nila, Love make your heart beat fast…
Your Body feel flushed with excitement, and your mind go around in circles…
Love kaya yon?!
O gutom lang?!! :P

0411. 3 monkeys escaped from the zoo.
the first was caught watching tv…
the second was caught in the park…
and the third…
..
..
Hindi Ikaw!
Bakit lagi mo na lang iniisip na unggoy ka? wag ganun!! :P

0412. When I wad in grade 1 my teacher gave me question. about what i want to be when i grow up.I answer happy.
Teacher:You didn’t understand the question.
Kid:you didn’t understand life..
dugo ilong nya ehh grade 1 plng ako :)

0413. JOKES:
APO: La punta ka ba sa tipar?
LOLA: Ano ang tipar apo?
APO: TIPAR is party!
LOLA: SOS!! walang kwentang salita PS kayong lahat..!!
APO: Ano yung PS lola?
LOLA: PAKING SHIT!!

0414. son to his dad…SON: dad baket nyo ako pinangalanan na Conrado Domingo…now my friends call me CONDOM…

Grab that cellphone and text some jokes to your friends now!

More Jokes

Sent/Texted by:
loraine
Jean
Kio
Jay
Noel

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Disclaimer: All Quotations, Jokes and Messages contained here are either received through SMS, E-mail or contributed through comments, and remain the intellectual property of their respective originators

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Comments

54 Responses to “Text Quotes and Text Messages 0401 – 0420: Tagalog Jokes”

  1. ann marayaan on September 15th, 2008 3:01 pm

    funny jud as in cge mi twa ko friend”

  2. janina on November 14th, 2008 11:48 pm

    hahaha funny msayado
    nakakatawa

  3. teddy bear 05 on December 21st, 2008 4:31 am

    HEHEHAHAHAHEHEH KATAWA GRABE

  4. kat^^ on January 6th, 2009 6:18 pm

    and kulet!! ehehe!!^^

  5. jayza on January 25th, 2009 8:30 am

    aztig yan lahat ha
    ]
    ]hahahahahahahaha

  6. louie on April 21st, 2009 9:17 pm

    ang chaka mu!! igay mu nlng no. mu sakin GURL k b ??

  7. bhona GF q on April 21st, 2009 9:23 pm

    pnuh ba mg login d2

  8. bhona GF q on April 21st, 2009 9:24 pm

    pnu b mag login d2

  9. bhona GF q on April 21st, 2009 9:25 pm

    pnu b mag login d2 kakatawa

  10. bhona GF q on April 21st, 2009 9:26 pm

    kakatawa sobra ang chaka^^
    teddy bear kilala b kita

  11. bhona GF q on April 21st, 2009 11:39 pm

    bhona luv u

  12. louie on April 21st, 2009 11:41 pm

    bhona iluv u mhal n mhal kita omiz wahaha

  13. louie on April 21st, 2009 11:42 pm

    panget nmhan ng mga quotes nio^^

  14. espenzer Tim gwapo on June 8th, 2009 5:15 am

    wla b kayong magandagandang qoutes puro kayo makaluma cguro 70 years old na gumawa d2 nohh!

  15. espenzer Tim gwapo on June 8th, 2009 5:18 am

    bhona i love u also!^^

  16. espenzer Tim gwapo on June 8th, 2009 5:20 am

    can u make a funny qoutes please wag kaung masyadong kornee

  17. Wish master on June 8th, 2009 5:24 pm

    Wala n bng ikako-korny yan. . Wahaha. .

  18. chen on July 8th, 2009 7:58 pm

    nkakatawa……..

    :]

  19. shimei on July 15th, 2009 7:39 pm

    hahaha.. aztig.. more jowk pha po…

    ..’npatwa nyo kho nun huh!..

    bleeeehhh……. :p

  20. ASTEG on July 18th, 2009 8:26 pm

    nakakatawa d qoh maintindihan yong english

  21. jonathan ruelo on July 27th, 2009 5:18 pm

    i got to feel

    yeah funny

  22. c raulo on August 7th, 2009 6:31 am

    haha nkaka2wa !! duh !! mg-icp nga kau s tngin mo b nkaka2wa !!

  23. KaikAi on August 23rd, 2009 9:41 pm

    ,yah ryt the rest are funny,

  24. SHINE on August 28th, 2009 11:13 pm

    hahahaha !! lol

  25. ann on August 29th, 2009 11:40 pm

    wow ang ganda ng mga jokes… hahahahhaha

  26. ann on August 29th, 2009 11:41 pm

    hehehehehehh ang sarap nkktuwa,,,, hehehehheh

  27. allyssa on September 3rd, 2009 1:34 am

    woow masyadong nfunny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. jemimah on September 4th, 2009 8:12 am

    grabe sobrang nkakatwa!i love da’t style dud!

  29. jemimah on September 4th, 2009 8:13 am

    sna kumalat yan pra olweyz smile lht ng mga dudz

  30. jemimah on September 4th, 2009 8:15 am

    i lke it 2 the highez level! nize nman tlino ng ng create nyan!burger nman uh!

  31. †♥mizz_br0ken♥† on September 12th, 2009 6:29 pm

    i love y0u neil carlo villegas..!!!

    :) )

    trip q lng..!!

  32. roselyn on September 18th, 2009 2:09 am

    jejeje..kakatawa..pa add po kht sa ys lng..

  33. Richie on September 19th, 2009 6:02 pm

    Ahahaha. nakakatawa talga
    :D

  34. kathleen_14 on September 23rd, 2009 10:07 pm

    aNg cUtE Ng
    mGa
    qOUtEz
    nyO
    ZsAnA
    DaG
    DaGaN
    NyO
    pA

    MiZ KaThLeEn_14

  35. kathleen_14 on September 23rd, 2009 10:08 pm

    hOn

    lOvE

    U

    Po

    mHeRlEeN

  36. Nico on September 26th, 2009 12:49 am

    hahahhaha ka2wa tlga naka2tawa tlga gawa pa kau mrmi para masaya!

  37. helyssa on September 30th, 2009 4:38 am

    hahai
    d masyado nakakatawa…!!!

  38. via mae on October 2nd, 2009 12:04 am

    it was so funny …. really:)

  39. via mae on October 2nd, 2009 12:06 am

    i luv jokes..funny jokes not so corny like this….but i luv it coz it makes me laugh…:)

  40. PriNceSs on October 5th, 2009 6:33 am

    kh8 anung patwa mu corny pa rin sken eh….. broken hearted aq eh…..

    yuck….

    maz mgnda kng hnpan mu nlang aq ng PAPA…..

    kailangan pogi ahh,, magnda kz aq eh …hehehehe…. echos….

  41. antonette07 on October 14th, 2009 1:32 am

    aztig!

  42. Haring Bhog Lee on October 20th, 2009 6:59 am

    kakatawa.. ha ha ha

  43. leigh ann on October 25th, 2009 8:30 am

    .. haha, ang ganda nang jokes nyo… mkaka baliw

  44. annah on November 4th, 2009 3:55 am

    haaahaaa………nakakatawa ung CONDOM!!!!

  45. ashley on November 6th, 2009 5:58 am

    nycc ! :D

  46. kaitliN on November 9th, 2009 2:43 am

    ♥ pDe nRiN…
    ♥ buT not alL FuNny..
    ♥ soMe r koRny..
    ♥ but xmpWe oLweiZ’ b
    ♥ hapPi…
    ♥ auN ohhh….

  47. glendy on November 11th, 2009 8:18 pm

    ahmm….mganda cia tpozz zobRang nkaka2ha….gling nio……

  48. quenie on December 10th, 2009 5:15 pm

    nka2twa din cia peo sana da2gan nio pa pra mas nka2twa ok…..

  49. jeng on December 10th, 2009 7:54 pm

    hpi hpi bday muah

  50. axle on December 14th, 2009 5:57 am

    heheheh bElAt pAngit nG gAwa hahahah

    yAnu un

  51. tin on December 30th, 2009 10:15 am

    nakakatawa

  52. Kakatuwa Na Naman! « Sweetestsin2862's Blog on January 9th, 2010 5:55 pm

    [...] ‘Baka masuwerte ako’? … ‘Beef Lucky Me’ Ano english ng ‘Masuwerte ako Inay’? … ‘Lucky me mami’ Ano english ng ‘Masuwerte akong lalaki?…’Lucky me with [...]

  53. eden on January 27th, 2010 9:39 pm

    i love you kate..

    my baby

  54. kai on January 29th, 2010 8:26 pm

    eiw,d man nkakatwa!sumakit lng ulo q0.an0 Yn j0wk b tlaga?ka l0kohan.

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